


Rewrite the Stars

by MareNubium



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:00:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29861223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MareNubium/pseuds/MareNubium
Summary: Kakashi doesn't think his broken heart can be healed. A hopeless romantic comes and proves him otherwise.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Obito
Comments: 26
Kudos: 79





	Rewrite the Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Only vaguely inspired by [Rewrite the Stars](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yO28Z5_Eyls%E2%80%9D) from _The Greatest Showman_. This fic has nothing to do with the movie at all, actually, and doesn't really follow the song that much either LOL idk when I listened to the song this idea came up so I'm just giving credit when it's due (and stealing the song title).

Winter claims the city through frosted streets and whispering winds, snow falling like ash from cotton clouds and coating the ground with wax and powder. The air houses a curious blend of both peppermints and smothered cigarettes, litter and asphalt marring patches of white as Kakashi stands restlessly aside.

He breathes in the breeze and reminisces. Familiar scents arouse memories of mellow laughter and teasing touches, tracing his skin like the gentle brushes of a distant ghost. Kakashi remembers that once, the sight of white falling from the sky used to bring him a certain sense of wonder and excitement. It brought him back to cups of hot chocolate and innocent kisses in the morning, amorous nights spent strolling through streets of ribbons and blinking lights. Winter, for a long time, had been Kakashi’s favorite time of the year. 

But now winter feels like nothing more than crumbling walls and creaking floorboards. When he moves, his limbs ache, brittle from the cold and heavy from hours spent staring into space. Empty mugs and emptier nights fill the season, the fog of his breath in every exhale the only indicator of life existing in his decaying home. Kakashi learns over and over again what it’s like to feel his heart break as he wakes up to an empty bed every morning, an apartment that is meant for two growing colder and colder without the blessing of another person’s warmth.

Kakashi fled from his home that afternoon, an action he’s done many times before, hoping that the bout of fresh air could somehow clear his haunted mind. It’s become a habit of Kakashi’s, or an _addiction_ almost, to wander the streets of a city too big for someone so easily broken. Kakashi doesn’t look for anything in particular, neither does he _go_ anywhere in particular. Instead, he wastes his breath and dreams of the man who used to kiss him under streetlights, his taste reminiscent of hazelnuts and blissful ignorance. 

His thumb rubs over the silver band around his finger, cool to his touch, the memories it conveys gradually freezing and shattering into dust.

Kakashi’s aimless roaming leaves him with sore feet and a bleary glare, eyes perpetually blinking in a vain attempt to stay awake. The sky dims around him, the coming of dusk tainting his tongue with a bitter taste. Honestly, he doesn’t know why he does this to himself. At home, his memories are nightmares. Outside, his memories are dreams. But they’re the same fragile fragments of his past, and they consume more of him each hour. Every memory Kakashi fails to let go of is another piece of him taken away.

With a weary breath, Kakashi settles down on a rusting chair outside a small café, stretching his legs and rubbing his knees to rekindle some warmth. The crisp winter air gently lifts the stray strands of his hair and he closes his eyes, letting the cool temperatures wash over his skin.

He opens his eyes, and his gaze meets another only inches from his own.

Kakashi jumps out of his seat with a yelp, his hand immediately coming up to cover his mouth as he backs away from the person before him, embarrassment coating his cheeks at the rather pathetic sound he’d made. Amusement sparkles in the stranger’s eyes, and Kakashi frowns at the sight of it in slight distaste. He opens his mouth to spit something out in retaliation, but he falters at the sight of the oddly endearing smile gracing the stranger’s handsome face, Kakashi’s breath hitching in his throat as the tips of his ears unwittingly redden.

“Sorry,” the stranger says, his voice a little bit raspy, “I didn’t mean to sweep you off your feet.”

Kakashi’s lips part in confusion, brows quirking at the strange choice of words until he finally notices the broom held firmly in the other’s hands. The words process, and it takes Kakashi a moment to gather his senses, gaze trailing from the broom to the stranger’s dark hair, and then to the odd grin on his face, his gentle voice echoing quietly in his ears.

Kakashi blinks once, twice, three times before eloquently stammering, “What?”

The stranger chuckles, leaning the broom against the side of the table and taking the seat opposite from Kakashi. His gaze is tender. “I’m Obito,” he says with an offer of his hand.

Kakashi gives him a peculiar look before carefully taking his hand and shaking it, awkwardness evident in the stiffness of his fingers. “Kakashi,” he returns out of courtesy, slowing sinking back into his own seat.

Obito’s grin widens in response, and Kakashi curiously flushes, scrambling to look anywhere else but that charming smile. He finds his distraction in the employee nametag peeking from behind Obito’s unzipped coat.

“Do you work here?” Kakashi asks him without meeting his eyes, referring to the café beside them.

Obito hums. “I do, and I was wondering what you were doing out here in the cold. You’re allowed inside, you know,” he teases, amusement highlighting his tone. “Are you lost or something?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Kakashi dismisses instead of answering, unwilling to admit his hopeless wandering. “I mean, shouldn’t you be working instead of talking to someone who isn’t even a customer?”

His words come out harsher than he intended, but Obito surprises him with a lighthearted laugh. “My shift just ended, actually,” he explains, a certain sparkle in his eyes. “I was just getting ready to go home when I saw the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life sitting right outside.”

Kakashi blinks, the pink that dusts his cheeks conveying his surprise. A part of him is a little impressed with Obito’s straightforwardness, but Kakashi masks his intrigue by clearing his throat and averting his gaze. He honestly doesn’t even know what to say, unable to keep up with Obito’s strange pace.

“I’m talking about you, by the way,” Obito adds, as if worried that Kakashi somehow might have missed the fact that he was blatantly flirting with him. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Normally, Kakashi would scoff at such overused advances, but something about the way Obito presents himself comes with a level of authenticity Kakashi hasn’t seen in quite a while. His eyes are surprisingly sincere for a stranger wooing another stranger. It’s strangely comforting.

“Are you calling me a _thing?”_ Kakashi asks him, feigning offense.

Obito’s eyes widen, an apology immediately spilling from his lips much to Kakashi’s own amusement. The sight of Obito’s flustered expression is endearing enough to hold Kakashi’s full attention, the latter’s lips lifting ever so slightly.

“Of course not, I-I didn’t mean it like that.” Obito scratches his head, looking as if he’s searching for a better term through the bare tree branches above. “I only meant that you are more beautiful than every person I’ve met, every sight I’ve seen, and every moment I’ve lived. _Thing_ isn’t the best word to use, but…your beauty is _unparalleled.”_

Kakashi stares blankly back at Obito, a bit stunned by the odd confession. He loses his words and looks away, a strange feeling stirring in his chest at the sincerity in his Obito’s voice. It’s intriguing, the humble nature of Obito’s gaze yet the confident spark that follows every blink reminds Kakashi of someone else, and just like that, Obito’s warm gaze and kind smile morph into cold stares and expressions of apathy.

The diamond on his ring is rough against the pad of his thumb, edges almost sharp enough to cut. He can still hear its barren promises, a constant reminder of what he has lost etched into his skin.

Obito is only a stranger. Kakashi shouldn’t indulge himself in his words so earnestly. He should save his breath for the few friends he manages to have.

But friends always tend to become strangers again over time. Kakashi has seen it happen over and over again. It makes it all the more difficult to warm up to others.

People always seem to leave no matter who they are.

“Sorry, am I coming on a little too strong?” Obito asks him suddenly, and when Kakashi looks at him again, his smile is sheepish. “I’ll turn it down a little…that is, if I haven’t completely ruined my chances with you yet.”

Kakashi swallows. He can already feel himself falling back into the abyss he locked himself in.

“Beautiful is a tired word,” Kakashi utters, distracted, almost, his tongue tasting of sugar and ash. “Uninspired and overused. It lost its meaning to me a long time ago.” His eyes dart to the side, unwilling to hold Obito’s stare, and he misses the way Obito’s breath catches with his words.

The silence that sits between them grows increasingly uncomfortable for Kakashi, and the broken parts of him beg him to run away. To the creaking floors and crumbling walls of a place that feels far too empty to be called a _home._ Obito watches him with soft eyes, sorrow reflected in his irises, and for a foolish second, Kakashi sees the man who once wrapped his scars and kissed him to sleep. He blinks, and the vision vanishes as Obito’s kind smile returns.

Kakashi’s fingers curl together. He lifts a hand, brushing it through his hair in an effort to disperse his thoughts. Obito’s expression suddenly falls.

“I’m sorry,” Obito bewilderedly heaves, forcing out an awkward laugh. “I didn’t realize you were already taken, um—” Kakashi’s brows furrow in confusion at the shift in Obito’s spirit, surprised when the latter avoids his eyes, “—I’ll just…I’ll just leave you alone, then,” he quietly finishes, hurriedly standing to his feet with a disheartened look on his face. Kakashi tries not to think about the way his heart stretches at the sight, and it only takes him a second to realize that Obito had been referring to the ring on his finger.

He gazes down at the little ring, rolling his lip between his teeth as the frigid diamond stares lifelessly back.

“I’m not…taken,” Kakashi softly admits, and Obito stills, confusion evident in his eyes. Kakashi smiles at him, and the words taste like iron. “Not anymore.”

Obito stares back at him, his expression unreadable. “But your ring…” he trails off, a little breathless, and his tone lingers in the air.

Kakashi looks down and does not answer, thumb rubbing over the small band. He can feel Obito’s eyes on him but cannot find the will to stare back, not while his lower lip trembles, heart yearning for the person who promised him a lifetime.

Obito slowly sits back down, understanding in his eyes as he rubs the back of his neck in thought. “Some things are hard to let go of,” he says after a moment, blinking through a gust of wind.

Kakashi’s lips lift in melancholy. “They’re even harder to forget,” he whispers, and he forces himself to look back up, fractured gaze meeting an unwavering stare.

“You don’t need to forget,” Obito tells him gently, carefully, as if afraid of breaking someone already so torn. “Not if you find it in yourself to move on.”

Kakashi’s gaze falls, darkening at once. For some reason, Obito’s words feel like strikes against his skin. He feels appalled that Obito, some stranger, is giving him advice about something he knows nothing about.

“It’s that easy, huh?” Kakashi lets out a humorless laugh. _“My mistake.”_

The sun nears the horizon, and Kakashi gets up, leaving without another word. He sees confessions in the sidewalks and promises in the murals on the walls, but there are cracks in the concrete and chips in the fading paint. Nothing ever lasts, but the memories always linger.

Obito calls out his name, but Kakashi does not look back. He tugs his coat closer to his chest to smother his aching heart, the sorrow in the stranger’s tone drifting in the wind and following him home.

-

_Kakashi has grown to be afraid of the dark._

_Things lurk in the shadows, hidden, unseen._

_He hates the late nights most of all. He can hear everything, the crickets outside, the pipes in the wall, the whir of the heater._

_Yet he doesn’t see a thing through the darkness._

_Not even those that are right in front of him._

-

No matter how much the seasons change, the city’s park does not. Even during winter, the park is still filled with families, couples, bunches of children and adventurous friends. Despite its redundancy, Kakashi finds it a little less lonely here. The holiday lights shimmer in the trees, and people smile when they meet his eyes.

He settles on a bench on the outskirts of the park, a good distance away from the fountain in the center, a piece that is always popular despite the lack of water during this season. Snow embellishes the ground, frost-tipped wreaths and ribbons hanging from every branch of every tree and every arm of every streetlight.

A gust of wind blows by, and Kakashi fingers his scarf, the cologne of the one it once belonged to lingering in the wool.

Kakashi feels the bench dip ever so slightly beside him, and when he glances over, he meets a familiar pair of eyes.

“It’s good that you’re resting,” Obito greets him with an eyebrow quirked playfully. “You must be tired from running through my mind all day.”

The scent in his scarf is replaced with the aroma of coffee and freshly baked cookies. Kakashi shakes his head in silent amusement despite the way his skin shivers. “Hello, Obito.”

Obito’s eyes brighten up. “So you remembered me,” he says a bit breathlessly, but Kakashi only shrugs his shoulders, ignoring Obito’s sparkling gaze. “I was worried you would have forgotten me after the way we parted last time, but I knew we were destined.”

“How did you find me?”

“Easy. I followed my heart,” Obito answers, and Kakashi has half the mind to punch him for his shameless words. Obito then lets out a low chuckle at the aggravated look Kakashi gives him. “Okay, the coffee shop is just down the road and I wandered through this park every day after work in hopes of maybe running into you again. I just thought the _followed my heart_ bit sounded less creepy.”

“It did,” Kakashi agrees with a soft chuckle. “But why would you waste your time like that? There was a good chance I’d never show up again. I could be from a different city altogether for all you know, _disappeared_ without a trace.”

“Ah, I didn’t need to worry about that,” Obito reassures him, waving the doubts off as if they hadn’t occurred to him at all. “All hopeless romantics like to wander the city in search for their true love.”

Kakashi’s neck bristles, and he gives Obito an incredulous look. “I’m not searching for my true love,” he says, eyes squinting a little as his mind wanders to the scent on his scarf. “I don’t believe in stuff like that anymore.”

Obito is silent for a moment before a small smile lifts his lips. “I don’t believe you.”

“What?” Kakashi frowns when Obito’s smile only grows. “What would you know? This is only the second time we’ve met.”

“Exactly. It’s been nearly a week since we last saw each other, and you still have that same look in your eyes,” Obito tells him.

“And what look is that?”

“The look of someone who wishes to love and be loved,” is Obito’s answer, and Kakashi nearly lets out a laugh.

“Do you always say things like that?” Kakashi asks him, a certain strain in his voice that doesn’t go unnoticed. “It’s starting to become a little embarrassing.”

“Well, my friends always did like to call me a dreamer,” Obito says, a bashful smile on his lips as he scratches his neck. “Embarrassing lines kind of come with the deal.”

Kakashi stares back at Obito for a moment before giving him a small smile. “So what is it that you want, daydreamer?” he questions, deciding to humor Obito’s peculiarity. “You spent every day looking for me and now you’ve found me. Nobody does that unless they want something.”

“You caught me.” Obito grins. “I actually wanted to see you for two things.”

“Two for the price of one meeting? I don’t know if that’s fair,” Kakashi quips, and Obito regards him with a warm smile.

“You seem to be in a better mood today. I’m glad,” Obito says, his enamored eyes reflecting the afternoon light. “Can I ask for an exception? It’s hard to track down a wandering soul.”

Kakashi tilts his head to the side, a sign Obito soundly takes as acceptance. 

“First, I wanted to apologize for what happened during our last meeting,” Obito begins, the sincerity in his eyes catching Kakashi off guard. “I didn’t mean to offend you…or stir up any bad memories.” He truly looks sorry, and Kakashi shifts in his seat, fighting off the uncomfortable color on his cheeks. In all honesty, Kakashi had reflected on the incident and deemed Obito relatively harmless. As strange as Obito is, Kakashi doesn’t think he’s a bad guy.

“You don’t need to apologize, I was just being…moody,” Kakashi says with a cough, covering his lips with his scarf. “If anything, I should be apologizing to you for leaving so rudely.”

“Moody or not, it wasn’t fair of me to speak to you so dismissively over something I clearly know nothing about,” Obito explains earnestly. “I didn’t mean to overstep any boundaries. Forgive me?”

Kakashi swallows, timidly avoiding Obito’s honest eyes. “And what’s the second offer?”

A grin graces Obito’s lips, accepting the change in tempo despite the lack of a proper pardon. “Dinner.”

“Dinner?”

“With me.” 

Kakashi’s heart skips a beat, but he smothers it quickly with another cough. “The whole thing about not believing in love didn’t give you a hint on how I feel about relationships?”

“And my searching for you every day for a week doesn’t give you a hint on how I feel about _you?”_ Obito counters with a teasing lilt. “I know it’s a strange follow-up to my apology, but I like you. A lot. I waited all week to see you again, and I didn’t want to waste my opportunity to ask you out in case you really do _disappear without a trace.”_ He lets out a soft chuckle. “But if the idea makes you uncomfortable, why don’t we call it a dinner between friends instead?”

Kakashi ponders the idea, balancing the possibilities on a light scale. “Calling it a dinner between friends doesn’t change anything,” he utters after a moment. “I don’t want to lead you on.”

“You won’t be. I’ll treat it as if we’re friends, too,” Obito reassures him with a nod of his head. “Please? I’ll beg if I have to.”

“It…it doesn’t feel right,” Kakashi stammers, avoiding Obito’s attentive gaze. “You said you like me, but I’m not ready to commit to anything and I’m afraid I might end up…”

“Liking me back?” Obito softly supplies, and the look he regards Kakashi with is so gentle it renders Kakashi breathless.

“M-Maybe? I just…” Kakashi bites his lip, still so unused to Obito’s straightforward nature. “I don’t want to risk anything. Not…not now, not ever…” The scarf suddenly feels heavy on his neck, the nostalgic aroma within its threads dizzying his already frayed mind.

Obito stares at Kakashi as if discerning his thoughts. He carefully reaches for Kakashi’s hand, and when Kakashi doesn’t pull away, he gently takes it and coaxes Kakashi to look at him. Kakashi fights off an odd feeling in the back of his throat, blaming the pink on his cheeks to the chill of the wind around them.

“Don’t call it a risk,” Obito softly says, gazing intently into Kakashi’s eyes, but the latter quickly looks away. “Call it a chance, instead. All I ask for is a chance.”

The scent of coffee returns with the breeze, comforting like the warmth of a blanket on a cool winter morning. But the ice on the window doesn’t thaw, and all it takes is a single breath in the air to remind Kakashi of how cold it truly is out there.

“I’m sorry, Obito,” he whispers. “I can’t take another chance.”

-

_He feels the loneliest on Friday nights._

_Kakashi spends those evenings curled up in bed, shivering, shivering, shivering as the memories run through his head. He smells the cologne through the withered sheets, almost feels someone’s touch brushing his skin as he clutches his pillow close. Kakashi’s teary eyes never leave the silver on his finger, the diamond pressed delicately against his lips as he continues to dream of waking up to him in the morning._

_He always leaves the door open, praying that the man who disappeared on a Friday evening would finally return tonight._

-

The theater is probably one of the oldest buildings in the city, yet it still manages to be the most ornate. Kakashi always admired its antiquity, the array of lights and golden curtains an inspiring sight despite the fading bricks in the walls. He’s not _that_ into plays, but as the holidays approach, so does the return of the famed _The Nutcracker._ It became a tradition for him to see the show every year, but he wonders how he’ll be able to continue his practice this December.

It’s never fun to see a show alone.

Kakashi lets out a soft sigh, rubbing his gloved hands together and placing them over his cheeks in an effort to warm his skin. He stares up at the banners hanging over the pillars of the theater, the familiar sight of the wooden toy comforting despite the Nutcracker’s beady glare.

He brushes some snow away from the base of a pillar with his boot, peering around the structure to glimpse at the ticket booth behind. His heart beats with a childlike excitement at the prospect of seeing the show once more, but he stands anxiously in one place as he recalls the seats in the back of the theater, an arm around his shoulders and a bucket of chocolate-covered popcorn shared between two. Kakashi remembers feeling foolishly in love as they listened to _Pas de Deux,_ a kiss to his fingers as the strings winded up, heart thumping with the drums as he watched the couple twirl on stage.

 _It’s too much,_ he thinks with a withered breath. He can’t watch it. Not alone.

Kakashi’s hands clench into frustrated fists as he turns around, only to come face-to-face with those familiar eyes once more, a shout slipping from Kakashi’s lips in instinct.

Obito beams at him despite his little scream, clearing his throat in a ceremonious manner. “I’m writing an essay on the beautiful things in life,” Obito says, shuffling through the packet of papers in his hands, and Kakashi braces himself for what’s to come. “Can I use you as an example?”

Kakashi squints at him, unsure of how to feel about running into this black-haired stranger for the third time. “Are you stalking me?”

Obito lets out a laugh. “No, I’m not actually. This time, we really did meet by chance.” He pauses, a certain twinkle in his eyes. _“Chance._ A wonderful word of possibilities. Don’t you like the way it sounds, too?”

Kakashi ignores the question, casting Obito a doubtful look. A week and a half has passed since they last saw each other. Kakashi thought he’d driven Obito away for good, but a small part of him is a little relieved to see that the other hasn’t quite given up on him yet. Obito is an interesting person, to say the least.

Obito heaves a dramatic sigh, feigning heartbreak as he stares innocently back at Kakashi’s accusatory glare. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m serious! Running into you this time was purely a coincidence!” He pauses. “I’m actually an aspiring actor, and this right here is my script.” He holds out the packet of papers he had for Kakashi to see, and one glance at the print affirmed Obito’s words. “I just came out of an audition, and I feel good about this one, too.”

Kakashi peers at him carefully, trying to seem indifferent. “Don’t you work at that café?”

“Well, while brewing coffee does have its charms, I’m not planning on making a life out of it,” Obito answers with a wink. “What about you? What do you do for a living?”

“Um…” Kakashi swallows at Obito’s intent gaze. “A teacher.”

“Really?” Obito looks at him in surprise. He smiles warmly when Kakashi nods. “I’ve always loved children. Dreamed of having twenty.”

Kakashi raises an eyebrow. “What woman would want to go through that?”

 _“Dreamed,_ I _dreamed_ of having twenty. Presently, I’ve scaled it down to a reasonable six,” Obito clarifies, moving to slip his script into his sling pack. “And no woman would have to. I’d like to adopt them all.”

“That’s…still a lot,” Kakashi utters, somehow embarrassed by this conversation.

“Is it?” Obito asks. “What would you say is a good number?”

Kakashi frowns a little, crossing his arms over his chest as he ponders the question over. “Two? Maybe three?”

Obito hums, almost as if enlightened. “I can live with that if it’s with you.”

Kakashi immediately flushes. “Hey, I—”

“I’m joking,” Obito says with a light chuckle. “Kind of. Are you free tomorrow night?”

Kakashi gives Obito an incredulous look, a little dizzied by the exchange. “I-I am.”

“Wonderful! How does Italian sound?”

“O-Okay?” Kakashi stammers. “If you’re asking me out to dinner again, the answer is still _no.”_

Obito pouts, and Kakashi swallows down a lump in his throat. “Even if it’s just between friends? I promise I won’t try anything, and you won’t be leading me on.”

Hesitation halts his breath as Kakashi shifts his gaze to the side, suddenly feeling very exposed. “Why do you want this so badly?” Kakashi asks, rubbing his arm. “You don’t even know me. I could be the worst person on earth for all you know.”

“Because I like you, Kakashi,” is Obito’s reply, simple enough to leave Kakashi without words. “I know it sounds weird and a little creepy, but when I saw you through that café window, I wanted nothing more than to take you into my arms and make you smile. You looked so sad out there, and it broke my heart to see someone so beautiful look so _lost._ And even now, this is the third time I’ve seen you and you still have that same expression on your face. I don’t know what or who took your smile away and left you like this, but even if we can only be friends, I want to return it to you.” 

Bits of snow begin to drift down from the sky, settling on their shoulders like little stars. Kakashi can do nothing but stare back at Obito, too stunned by his rather spontaneous answer to properly respond. His gloved hands fidget together, fingers slipping over the ring buried beneath wool.

A snowflake lands on Kakashi’s hand, dissolving into the fabric within seconds. “I don’t know if you can.”

Obito’s gaze softens, and he carefully takes Kakashi’s hand in his. “Give me a chance,” he pleads. “All I want is a chance.”

Kakashi can feel how cold Obito’s hand is through the wool. He snivels, taking his other hand and wrapping Obito’s fingers in the warmth of his gloves. Obito looks up in surprise, breath hitching in his throat at the sight of the small, grateful smile on Kakashi’s lips, traces of snow clinging to his lashes.

-

_They were together for six years._

_He promised him more._

_Kakashi remembers the small cake in his hand, the hazelnut and mousse, the date hanging on the wall._

_He wasn’t supposed to be home that night. Kakashi pretended he had to_ _visit his father_ _that weekend for a family emergency. His lover had been very understanding, encouraging Kakashi to be with his_ _father_ _during_ _his_ _time in need. It was all a lie of course, Kakashi only wanted to surprise his lover on his birthday._

_But Kakashi wasn’t the only one who lied._

_The cake was never eaten._

_And six years didn’t mean anything anymore._

-

The restaurant had a very homey feel to it. Kakashi had taken the booth in the furthest corner, gazing quietly out the window at the busy streets, the falling snow. The low murmur of conversations from tables around him provides a comfortable atmosphere, complemented by the dimmed lights above and the ever present aroma of fresh basil.

Kakashi catches a glimpse of his reflection in the window, and he gently brushes his fingers through his bangs, idly fixing his appearance to pass the time. Moments later, he meets eyes with someone else through the glass, and Kakashi turns around to Obito’s warm smile.

“Well, don’t you look gorgeous,” Obito greets him, the sparkle never leaving his eyes as he pulls out a bouquet of pale roses from his back. “For you,” he offers with a dramatic bow, and Kakashi gapes at the presentation in surprise.

“Roses?” Kakashi questions him, suspicion evident in his stare.

“Roses of _friendship,”_ Obito clarifies with a wink, the bundle of pink accentuating the white of his dress shirt.

Kakashi stares at Obito for a few seconds more before letting out an amused scoff, taking the roses and peering at them curiously. “Nice save, _friend,”_ he says, and the warmth on his cheeks matches the subtle shade of the petals. “You’re twenty minutes late. Is this a habit of yours?”

“No, not at all,” Obito tells him with a quick apology. “I got caught up in something.”

“In something?” 

“In your eyes,” Obito says dreamily, laughing at the disgruntled expression that takes Kakashi’s face. He takes the seat across from Kakashi, a small smile on his lips as he explains, “There was a rather troublesome customer who came into the café just as my shift was ending. I would have left sooner, but she kept demanding I remake her Triple, Venti, Half-Sweet, Non-Fat, Caramel Macchiato with extra whip or else she’d _‘have a word’_ with my manager. I had to remake it about four times before she was finally satisfied.”

Kakashi’s lips purse in distaste. “That sounds ridiculous.”

“I’ve had worse,” Obito dismisses it with a casual shrug of his shoulders. “And I may or may not have been a little distracted all day by the idea of seeing you again.”

“…I never know what to say when you say things like that,” Kakashi utters, a bit embarrassed by Obito’s words.

“You don’t have to say anything. Unless of course I’m making you uncomfortable. Then you can tell me to shut right up, and I will,” Obito tells him. Despite the joking lilt in his tone, Kakashi can sense the sincerity in his voice. 

“I…don’t mind it,” Kakashi timidly admits, looking anywhere but Obito’s eyes. “You’ve been here before, right? What should I get?” Kakashi hurriedly asks in an effort to change the subject, taking a menu and flipping it open to peer at the selections displayed before him.

Obito releases a low hum as he crosses his arms over the table, watching Kakashi with an intent look on his face. “Anything. I’ve had just about everything on that menu at least once.”

“Really?” Kakashi gives him a look of intrigue. “Well, at least give me some recommendations to make it easier.”

Obito acquiesces, and by the time their waitress takes their order, the two are left with their own thoughts, Kakashi trying his best not to fluster under Obito’s intense gaze. It reminds him of lazy Saturday mornings in bed, lying in between his lover’s arms and basking underneath the gentle glow of the sunlight. Kakashi shakes his head to rid himself of the memory, forcing himself to passively return Obito’s stare.

“Why do you keep staring at me?” Kakashi finally decides to question him, fingers curling around the base of his glass like a delicate anchor for his beating heart.

“You mean besides your dashing good looks?” Obito says with a little grin. “You look a little happier today, and I like it.”

Kakashi’s gaze falls to his lap, a little sheepish as he recalls the bit of excitement he felt that morning at the prospect of eating dinner with Obito. He told himself he was simply glad that he would have company for a night. Kakashi is quite tired of feeling lonely all the time. Obito, though strange, is a welcomed change to these subdued days.

When Kakashi doesn’t say anything, Obito tilts his head towards the window to their side, changing the subject for him. “We’ve been getting a lot of snow lately.”

Kakashi glances over, watching as snowflakes drifted onto the windowsill. “Thankfully nothing too major. I’m not a big fan of shoveling.”

“I used to shovel my neighbor’s sidewalks as a kid,” Obito says, a sentimental smile on his lips. “I found it fun somehow, and sometimes my neighbors would thank me with a nice meal or some cash. My cousins and I used to have contests to see who could make the biggest snow mountain. I usually won.”

“Maybe I should hire you to shovel my car out in the mornings,” Kakashi says as he sips from his glass of water.

Obito chuckles. “I wouldn’t mind. I mastered the art of shoveling years ago.” He then lets out a wistful sigh, nostalgia filling his eyes as he stares out the window. “No matter how old I get, somehow the sight of snow still makes my heart race.”

Kakashi follows his gaze, patches of white sparkling in the distance. “It is rather pretty.”

“I love winter,” Obito shares as he turns to Kakashi with that same twinkle in his eyes. “While the holidays are fun, I always liked the atmosphere the most. People are friendlier, more giving, more loving. There’s a celebration in every corner of every street. Snow comes down and coats the streets in white, almost like a blank page. People of all cultures and backgrounds then come together and decorate the canvas with reds and greens and stars and angels. It’s like a painting we all make together, wrapping the year and all its moments up in one, pretty little ribbon.”

Kakashi hums, a bit intrigued by the perspective. “Is winter your favorite season?” he asks him.

“It is, but not for those reasons.”

“For what, then?”

Obito gives Kakashi a soft smile. “For the sole reason that I got to meet you.”

Kakashi’s heart skips a beat, Obito’s voice an enthralling tune that leaves him rather breathless. He should be used to Obito’s playful flirting by now, but his way with words always manages to catch Kakashi by surprise anyways.

“You always know just what to say, don’t you, Obito?” Kakashi quips with a light grin.

Obito’s own smile only grows. “There it is,” he says. “The loveliest smile I’ve ever seen.”

Kakashi feels his heart race, Obito’s enamored gaze like a hazy glow of light. He finds himself unable to say anything back, trapped in Obito’s eyes, so friendly and warm like the scent of coffee that clings to his clothes.

“You looked so lonely that day at the theater,” Obito suddenly says, his voice taking a low timbre, his expression almost sad as if the thought of Kakashi’s loneliness pained him more than anything else. “I was surprised to see you there in the first place and thought that maybe you were just on one of your city escapes, but you looked so sad and conflicted. Like something was tearing you apart. It broke my heart.”

Kakashi frowns, lip between his teeth as he glances down at the ring on his finger. “I…was having a hard time deciding whether or not I should see the show,” Kakashi softly explains, lightly rubbing his thumb over the diamond. “It’s no big deal, really, I’m sorry to have worried you.”

“Why not see the show?” Obito asks him, interest in his eyes as he discerns Kakashi’s expression. “Have you not seen _The Nutcracker_ before?”

“Well, no…just the opposite. I see it every year,” Kakashi answers, a bit sheepish as he peeks up at Obito through his lashes.

“Oh. Bored of it, then?”

“Not at all.” Kakashi bites his lip, unsure of what to say as he stares uneasily back at Obito. “It’s just…normally I would see the show with my…um…” he trails off, but Obito does not need to hear the end to know who Kakashi is referring to. Kakashi gives him an abashed smile. “I don’t want to see it alone, so I just…I don’t know.”

Obito deeply inhales, eyes softening upon hearing Kakashi’s words. “It’s never fun to see a show alone,” he says in a thoughtful manner, meeting Kakashi’s gaze with his own. “Shall we go see it together, then?”

Kakashi blinks at him. “What? Really?”

“Mm, really,” Obito says kindheartedly. “You won’t have to go alone and I get another excuse to see you again. I’d say it’s a win-win situation, yeah?” 

“A-Are you sure?” Kakashi asks, already feeling heat in his cheeks under Obito’s attentive stare. “I mean, tickets are kind of expensive and the show is really long—”

“I know,” Obito tells him with a little laugh. “But it’ll be worth it if I get to see you smile again.”

Something sparks in Kakashi’s chest, a strange heat delving through his body and warming his skin. For some reason, he felt _excited._ His fingers tingle with the sudden urge to touch Obito’s hand, but he holds himself back, lips lifting into a soft smile instead. Obito nearly melts at the sight of it.

“I’ll see you there, then.”

-

_Kakashi loved him._

_He really did._

_Only something as consuming as love can pull a man to his knees. Kakashi loved him, and he was willing to forgive every lie despite the pain in his chest and every little insecurity that came with it. It was almost pathetic, how desperate Kakashi truly was for him, how desperate he was for the love from a man he naively thought was his._

_Kakashi gave his heart to him, but he still left him like he didn’t feel it breaking in his hands._

_And he hasn’t given it back._

-

It’s Friday night again. Tonight, Kakashi feels particularly restless.

Every little thing, from the groan of his bedframe to the soreness in his feet seals him from his sleep. His mind runs wild with fever dreams of sweet lies and the gripping scent of hazelnuts. His skin aches with a certain tenderness that longs only for the arms of another, the temperature in his room dipping with the most unbearable shivers.

The world suddenly feels too big and he, too small. Distances increase and the warmth is dispelled from his body. What is left is a pale shadow of what once was. Kakashi’s teeth clench together, the stickiness in his eyes he cannot rub away depriving him of his dignity. The tears fall without his permission, midnight the only witness to his shame.

His phone rings and time halts. Kakashi’s hands are shaky as he retrieves the device from his drawer, the white screen nearly blinding him through the darkness. Obito’s name appears before him, solid lines of black offering him a distraction. It’s what he needs.

Kakashi turns to lie back against his pillows, fingers wiping at his eyes as he releases a trembling breath and answers, “Hello?”

 _“Oh.”_ Obito’s voice is pleasantly soft. “ _You’re actually awake.”_

Kakashi snivels, willing himself to maintain his thinning breaths. “…And what if I wasn’t?” he asks in a gentle yet playful tone, too afraid to speak too loudly in case his cries betray him.

 _“Then I’d feel guilty for waking you up, but, um, I knew you were awake of course,”_ comes Obito’s frivolous answer. His lighthearted words bring comfort to Kakashi’s scattered mind.

“And how did you know?”

 _“We have a connection. I could feel it through my pores,”_ Obito tells him, and Kakashi laughs despite the stains on his cheeks.

“That’s gross, Obito,” Kakashi speaks into the phone, the sound of Obito’s laughter through the speaker sending pleasant sparks down his spine. “Do you need something?”

_“Your hand in mine.”_

“No, really, Romeo,” Kakashi says with a roll of his eyes, but Obito’s words bathe away the bruises on his skin. “Why did you call so late at night?”

 _“Well, I may or may not have been scrolling through our texts and swooning to myself over how adorable you are…and I may or may not have accidentally called you in the process,”_ Obito answers with that soothing timbre of his, and Kakashi can almost hear the smile in his voice. _“…But now that I think about it, that doesn’t sound as cool as saying ‘I just wanted to hear your voice,’ so, Kakashi, my dear, I just wanted to hear your beautiful voice.”_

Kakashi somehow finds it in him to feel embarrassed for Obito, a low but fond sigh escaping his lips. “You’re so ridiculous,” he playfully chides, his cheeks a dust of pink.

_“And you sound adorable over the phone. Hey, do you remember the dessert we had at that restaurant that one day?”_

Kakashi lifts an eyebrow. “We’ve been to plenty of restaurants, Obito.”

 _“The one from last week. No, wait, the week before that. Ah, the one_ _on_ _the Lunar New Year_ _! The place with the fancy little salt and pepper shakers.”_

“That was three weeks ago, genius,” Kakashi tells him, his heart fluttering in his chest as it suddenly dawns on him just how long he and Obito have been spending time with each other. Since the night of the show, they started to hang out together more regularly, and Kakashi has grown to really enjoy Obito’s company. His mere presence is like a candle flame, a bright and vibrant warmth held close to Kakashi’s heart.

_“Details, details. What really matters is the dessert! I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since we had it, and I’ve only found the time recently to try and imitate it.”_

“Oh, not only are you a barista and an actor, but suddenly you’re also a chef?”

 _“I sure am. A good one, too. My_ _grandmother_ _says my quiches are unparalleled.”_

“Hmm,” Kakashi hums. “I think I’ll have to judge that for myself.”

_“You can, this Sunday. I’ll be attempting to recreate that sinful chocolate soufflé, and I could use a sous chef who knows how to work a fire extinguisher in case my momentous quest ends up in flames. What do you say?”_

“Where’s the quiche come into play?”

_“It’s my secret weapon. Should you refuse to come this Sunday, I’ll send you pictures of it and my sobbing face to guilt you into coming anyways.”_

“Oh no!” Kakashi feigns a gasp. “I guess I’ll have to come then.”

_“Will you? Oh, god, now I actually have to find that recipe and impress you with my culinary prowess.”_

Kakashi lets out a soft laugh, oddly thankful for this eccentric call at 1 in the morning. “I’m looking forward to it.”

 _“As am I.”_ Obito heaves out a dramatic sigh. _“Though it pains me to say farewell, I must go to bed now. I have rehearsal in the morning, after all. Good night, Kakashi.”_

Kakashi smiles, and he forgets what was even hurting him in the first place. “Good night, Obito.”

-

_What good comes from being honest?_

_It’s unfair, Kakashi thinks, because the truth often hurts more than the lie. He blissfully lived a lie for six years, unscathed and content until the truth had been exposed. Kakashi wonders if he’d be happier now if he never returned home that Friday night. Would he be happier if he never discovered the truth?_

_Really, what good comes from being honest?_

_It feels as if those who live with honor are the ones who work for frauds. The people who climb are the people who lie, steal, cheat, and betray, while those at the bottom cling onto their integrity, for that’s all they really have._

_The world really is unfair. Kakashi has lived his life sincerely, wholeheartedly, dedicating his love to a man he thought would do the same for him._

_Honesty, in the end, is really just a choice, while love is anything but._

_The world is unfair, and Kakashi clings onto a fractured, unrequited love. It’s all he really has._

_Love is not a choice._

_If it was, there would be no pain._

-

Kakashi has never been to Obito’s apartment before. He isn’t quite sure what to expect from him, but as promised, Kakashi is greeted with a quiche as soon as he steps through Obito’s front door.

The first thing Kakashi notices about Obito’s place is its humble interior. His apartment is smaller than Kakashi’s, studio style, but its lived-in nature reminds Kakashi of Obito himself, actually. The decorations here and there are a little spontaneous but something about the home’s transparency submerges Kakashi in a comforting warmth.

They have lunch together, and because Kakashi has never actually had a quiche before, Obito’s quiche impresses him by default. It’s good enough for Obito, and as they finish their slices, they scour through the many chocolate soufflé recipes Obito has saved in his phone, shoulders brushing as they peer at the same tiny screen.

With dishes washed and a recipe chosen, the two set off to Obito’s kitchen, Kakashi staring at the rather excessive amount of ingredients and materials set out on the counters. Obito assures him that ten dozen eggs are absolutely necessary. Kakashi notes that the fire extinguisher is only a few feet away from the oven.

Obito’s apron is neon orange of all colors. He says he’s used it since he started baking as a child, and he hands Kakashi an apron with carrots on it to match. When Kakashi asks why he has to wear the apron with carrots all over it instead of Obito (because frankly, he found it rather tacky), Obito explains to him that it’s because Kakashi is the _cream of the crop._ Kakashi then decides to stop asking questions.

Needless to say, they never end up making that perfect chocolate soufflé. They manage to bake plenty that taste absolutely fine to Kakashi, but Obito spends a good ten minutes sobbing dramatically in the corner, crippled by the fact that he could not imitate the dessert that stole his heart three weeks ago. Kakashi uses the leftover eggs to bake a few pancakes to cheer Obito up. Somehow, that works.

So now, they sit, eating pancakes for dinner while the television plays softly in the background. Kakashi discreetly watches as Obito stuffs his cheeks, fondness stirring in his chest as he relaxes in his seat, for once without worries or that bruising feeling of loneliness.

He likes Obito. He really does.

Kakashi gives Obito the last of his pancakes and Obito finishes them within a few minutes. The two settle into a comfortable silence, Kakashi scooping up the last of their soufflé experiments with a small spoon.

“They’re really not that bad,” Kakashi comments idly as he finishes the dessert, setting the emptied cup to the side. “I think you did a good job.”

“Mmm…not _bad,_ but they could be better,” Obito says with a slight pout. “I suppose I can always try again. That is, if my cute little sous chef is willing to assist again?”

“Get me a new apron, and then we’ll talk,” is Kakashi’s flat reply, and Obito lets out a laugh.

“Did the carrots really bother you _that_ much?” Obito asks him, his amusement clear in his eyes despite the way Kakashi complained about the fakeness of baby carrots the entire day.

“It looked tacky,” Kakashi utters with a shrug. He leans back against his seat, glancing absently around the apartment. “So what do we do now? Anymore plans for tonight?”

Obito taps his chin in thought for a moment before shaking his head. “No, not really. I was hoping we could just bask in each other’s presence for a while, but if you have somewhere to go, I won’t keep you.”

“I have no other plans either,” Kakashi tells him, and Obito gives him a soft smile.

“Then bask in each other’s presence it is.”

Kakashi laughs. “And what does that entail?”

“Anything, really,” Obito says. “We can watch a movie, play a game, share heartfelt life stories…You can decide.”

Kakashi purses his lips, gaze wandering around Obito’s small apartment in search of something to do. While Kakashi didn’t mind a movie or two, he’d much rather listen to Obito talk for a while. Obito’s voice always manages to soothe Kakashi’s aching heart, a comforting distraction from the pain of his memories. Little things like the silly way he speaks and that ever present glimmer in his eyes captures Kakashi in a daze revolving around Obito and only Obito. Kakashi feels as if he’s found a true friend in Obito, a person he wholeheartedly believes is irreplaceable.

Just as Kakashi decides to take Obito’s offer on sharing heartfelt life stories, he spots an acoustic guitar sitting at the foot of Obito’s bed just across the living area. Kakashi raises an eyebrow in interest, turning towards Obito. “You play the guitar?” Kakashi asks him, curiosity evident in his gaze.

Obito glances over at the instrument in question, lips parting slightly as if only then remembering that it was there. “Only back in college, for a little while. I used to play on the streets with a bunch of my buddies for fun, got a few tips here and there,” he answers, a thoughtful look suddenly filling his eyes. “I wonder what they’re all doing now…” Nostalgia settles in his features, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

“You haven’t kept in contact with them?” Kakashi questions, and Obito only shakes his head. “Why?”

“We all had our own paths to follow, I guess,” Obito says, tone sentimental as he recalls his old friends. “Most of them found a job and a love and settled down with a family while I took everything I had and moved to some city hours away.”

“You moved here?” Kakashi asks him, brows pulled together in surprise at the revelation. “What made you want to leave?”

Obito seems to pause, eyes shifting a bit to peer down at his empty plate. “I just felt out of place where I was. While I do miss my friends, I don’t regret my decision. It’s harder out here, that’s for sure, but I feel more… _liberated_ in this city. Like I can do anything, meet _anyone.”_ Obito sends Kakashi a soft smile. “I’ve felt more at home here than I ever did anywhere else.”

Kakashi’s gaze drifts to the side, Obito’s words reawakening the pitfalls of his mind. “I get that, the feeling of being out of place,” he quietly says. “It’s like disconnecting from your surroundings. I wish I could stop this feeling, but it’s so hard to forget…” His thumb rubs over his ring once more, a soft sigh escaping his chapped lips.

Obito does not miss the action. “I find that it helps to get away sometimes. Though I suppose that’s why you wander the city, right?”

Kakashi shifts in his seat, still unwilling to look Obito in the eyes. “I guess so. It…doesn’t really help, though…not to me, at least.”

“Well, what _does_ help you?” Obito asks, and Kakashi looks up at him in surprise. “Sometimes, when I can’t clear my mind by simply getting away, I like to distract myself by doing other things. Baking is just one of my many little distractions.”

Kakashi bites his lip, the word _you_ nearly slipping from his tongue. He feels his cheeks heat up at the thought, unable to fathom the fact that Obito had been the first answer to pop up in his mind. He meets Obito’s gaze with a timid one of his own, suddenly feeling rather shy.

“Um,” Kakashi says, “your quiche.”

Obito stares at Kakashi for a moment before letting out a loud laugh, eyes curled into little crescents. “I was expecting something a little deeper than that, but okay. I’ll make you more quiches from now on, then.”

Kakashi blinks as Obito gets up, the latter picking their dishes up and heading over to the kitchen. Immediately, Obito’s question crosses his mind again, and Kakashi sits back in his seat, watching Obito move about his home with furtive eyes. The sight of Obito stacking dishes by his sink is strangely endearing, his heart speeding up in his chest ever so slightly.

Kakashi pulls his legs up and quietly listens to the sink run as Obito begins to wash their dirty dishes, his thoughts beginning to wander to their many encounters over the past few months. Their first meeting felt so far away, yet its very memory still manages to bring a slight smile to his face. Kakashi is grateful Obito had sought him out despite the way he had treated him. He truly couldn’t imagine how he would live now without Obito’s comforting presence by his side. Obito manages to bring a smile to his face even on the darkest days.

Their odd friendship really is the only thing Kakashi has left.

“Thank you, Obito,” Kakashi breathes out just as the sink turns off, his voice like the waft of a gentle breeze.

Obito seems to still in surprise, glancing over his shoulder and fixing Kakashi with a look of question. “For what?” he asks, wiping his hands against a towel before turning around and returning to the table, eyes never leaving Kakashi’s curled up form.

Kakashi inhales deeply, a soft smile slowly gracing his lips. “For everything.” Obito’s expression melts into that of awe, but before he can speak, Kakashi continues, “I know I haven’t told you before, but you’ve really helped me. You’ve made me laugh when I thought I couldn’t, you’re always there for me even when you don’t realize it, and just…thank you, Obito. For being such a wonderful friend.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Kakashi,” Obito says, his own eyes gentle and filled with affection. “I promised I’d do anything to bring your smile back, and I’ll _keep_ doing anything just to keep it there.”

 _Promise._ A promise.

Kakashi’s gaze falls to his ring, the little diamond reflecting another man’s eyes into his own. When he looks up, Obito’s stare meets his, and it almost feels as if he can see through his very soul.

_Promise._

Kakashi isn’t sure what comes over him, but tears suddenly slip from his eyes, trailing down his cheeks like drops of rain.

Obito’s eyes widen in alarm. “Kakashi?” he calls out, worry in his voice. “Shit, I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry—”

“No, don’t…don’t apologize,” Kakashi breathes out with a light laugh, wiping the tears from his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater. He feels ridiculous. “I…I don’t know what came over me. It’s silly – I’m silly – let’s just forget this happened.”

“Kakashi…” Obito utters. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Kakashi shakes his head, a shaky smile on his lips. “No, I’m fine, really…just…” his words trail off, eyes suddenly falling on the forgotten instrument on the other side of the room. “H-Hey, why don’t you play the guitar for me a little? I’d love to hear you play.”

“But—”

“Please, Obito,” Kakashi says in a quiet voice. “Just one song.”

Obito stares silently back at Kakashi for a few moments before he finally gives in, reluctance in his eyes as he leaves to retrieve his guitar.

 _Promise._ It continues to linger in his head.

It’s a word that never fails to break his heart.

“I...haven’t played in a long time, so I’m probably really rusty now,” Obito quickly says as he returns, settling on the edge of his bed as he strums a few chords on the instrument experimentally. He cringes a little, murmuring something to himself before glancing back up at Kakashi, a somewhat shy look on his face. “Um…do you want to come over here?”

Kakashi swallows, nodding his head lightly as he slowly gets up and joins Obito at his bed. He sits carefully on the corner, hands folded over his lap as he listens to Obito’s attempts to tune his guitar. Kakashi peers up at Obito, blinking at the concentration in the latter’s eyes, the slight frown in his brows that quirked with every pluck of his thumb against the strings.

“…Any requests?” Obito asks him, and for once he actually sounds a little nervous.

Kakashi only shakes his head, sending Obito a reassuring smile despite the remnants of tears on his lashes. He doesn’t want to think anymore.

Obito softens at the sight of him, and he adjusts the guitar on his lap, fingers tapping the wood of the body lightly as he purses his lips in thought. “Alright, then. Don’t laugh if I mess up.”

“I won’t,” Kakashi reassures him, and that’s all Obito needs to begin.

Obito’s lips lift ever so slightly as he positions his fingers on the fretboard of the guitar. He strums a few experimental chords, hands gradually adjusting to the strain of their positions, meeting Kakashi’s eyes briefly before his gaze falls back on the frets. Slowly, Obito finds his rhythm, producing a gradual chord progression that reverberates from the guitar and echoes throughout the tiny apartment. He hums a low melody to himself, quiet enough that Kakashi almost doesn’t hear it over his strumming, but the deep rumble is mesmerizing all the same. A few beats later, Obito opens his mouth and begins to sing.

Kakashi’s breath hitches in his throat as he listens to Obito sing a song from a long time ago. Obito’s voice, though a little rough and out of practice, is unmistakably _raw,_ the slight trembles that emits from his throat as he holds his notes sending delicate shivers down Kakashi’s spine. The song is laced with sentimentality, lyrics nostalgic of a simpler place, a simpler time.

Somewhere between the verses, Kakashi is drawn back to a quiet night under the stars, his lover strumming the same tender tune on his own guitar, his gentle voice almost a whisper as he sings the words Kakashi knew by heart. Kakashi always did love to hear him sing. His voice was beautifully sensual, a sonorous timbre that gripped Kakashi by his heart and compelled him to sing along, too. He meets his lover’s eyes and feels his breath leave his lungs, but as Kakashi reaches out to touch him, the illusion vanishes, and Obito returns, a little more confident this time, yet vulnerable all the same.

Obito has a different type of passion in him as he sings. His voice is a little bit rougher than Kakashi’s ex lover’s, but mellow and mature in its own nature, every note rich and lingering, emotion breathed into every slight hitch of his tone. It’s inspiring enough to reawaken a part of Kakashi that he thought he had buried when his heart broke into pieces. Obito’s voice is like an invitation to another world. 

This song always was meant for two.

Kakashi’s fingers gently curl over the fabric of his sweater, and like he once did with his past lover for six years, he begins to sing along, his own voice husky with hints of honey.

Obito falters for a moment, the sound of Kakashi’s shaky voice harmonizing with his nearly taking his breath away. Their eyes meet at once, their voices melding with the music in such a way their hearts begin to race. Kakashi holds on to every note that Obito draws out, and little by little, two voices become one.

Kakashi finds himself unable to look away from Obito’s enamored stare, even as their voices dwindle, even as the music fades into silence, even as his heart stutters in his chest. He doesn’t dare to blink nor breathe, too mesmerized by the intensity of Obito’s gaze, the addicting aroma of coffee from his clothes, the striking beauty of him.

Obito. His friend who makes him smile.

Obito. His friend whose voice melds perfectly with his own.

Obito. His friend. Kakashi’s wonderful, _wonderful_ friend who has liked Kakashi since the beginning.

And Kakashi.

_He might like Obito, too._

The guitar is set on the ground by their feet.

Obito’s fingers find Kakashi’s chin, his touch soft and warm, so, _so_ warm.

Their gazes never part.

Obito looks as if he has a million things to say, but he settles for one.

“There is no one on _earth_ as beautiful as you.”

Snowflakes fall to the ground in the world outside.

The cold apartment suddenly becomes very, very warm.

He barely blinks when they move.

Obito kisses Kakashi into his sheets, their bodies melding together as naturally as the sun dipping under the horizon. Kakashi’s fingers thread their way through Obito’s hair, a fire burning with every beat of his heart as their lips lock together in a feverish heat, spontaneous like each of their meetings, each of their moments. _Spontaneous,_ like them. Obito tastes of the coffee he brews and the sweet maple of the syrup he had poured all over his pancakes, a dizzying mix that is just so explicitly _Obito_ that Kakashi melts right into his grasp, fully submerged in Obito’s delectable world. 

Obito pulls away, and Kakashi finds himself enraptured by his hazy eyes. He wants nothing more than the man above him in that moment, Kakashi’s desires making themselves known as he draws Obito down to his lips once more. Kakashi wraps his legs around Obito’s hips, a choked moan escaping his throat as Obito presses against him. Obito’s hands roam around his body, slipping beneath Kakashi’s shirt and trailing over his bristling skin. Kakashi grips onto Obito’s hoodie, tugging at the collar in a plea to rid them of their obstructions, but Obito grabs his hand and holds it firmly in place.

Kakashi blinks the haze away, eyes finding Obito’s through the cloud of this dream, his breath faltering at the sight of hesitation in Obito’ expression. Obito shifts above him, holding Kakashi’s hand delicately against his chest, allowing Kakashi to feel his thumping heart. Kakashi gazes back up at him in confusion, only to feel Obito’s thumb rub over the silver band around his finger, Obito’s own stare filled with a sadness Kakashi has never seen before.

Kakashi bites his lip as Obito’s gaze travels to the ring, his sorrow evident in his careful touch. Time seems to slow as Kakashi’s mind drifts to the past, to the nights he spent tangled with his lover, morning spent in each other’s arms, basking under the sunlight, the diamond a glittering sight at the break of dawn. Kakashi then wanders back to Obito, to his arms, to his smile, to his gentle breath against his skin, to the sincerity of every word he’s ever spoken, to the kindness of his heart.

The ring slips off and Kakashi tosses it to the side. He barely registers the sound of it clattering against the floor as he captures Obito’s lips with his, and within seconds Obito reawakens, his hands gripping Kakashi’s hips as he grinds down against him, a breathless call of Obito’s name escaping Kakashi’s trembling lips.

Their clothes decorate the ground like patches of snow. Obito lavishes Kakashi’s skin with loving bruises as he spreads his legs apart, Kakashi unraveling against the sheets when Obito pushes his lubed up fingers into him. His desire for Obito grows stronger and stronger as time passes, the heat around them rising to an almost unbearable height. Desperation sinks into Kakashi’s system as he rocks back against Obito’s hand, and Obito’s touch briefly disappears. Kakashi waits with bated breath, his mind a mess as his body thinks for him, skin tingling with need. Obito presses kisses against his neck, hooking Kakashi’s legs around his waist and pushing himself in.

Kakashi arches against the bed as Obito breathes sweet whispers into his ear. The world seems to spin around them, their bodies linked together in a passionate _pas de deux._ Obito moves as if every thrust is his last and grips Kakashi’s hips as if every touch is a treasure. Their exploits echo across the small apartment, sweat dripping from their foreheads as the bed rocks against the wall, time slipping from their fingers like beads on a string. Obito seals their lips together and buries himself deep, drowning in Kakashi’s heat, reveling in his breathless cries. Kakashi recites Obito’s name like it’s his mother tongue and digs into Obito’s shoulders like the world might collapse at any moment.

Little by little, they lose themselves to the rapture of their hearts. Obito runs a trail of fireworks down Kakashi’s skin, stars bursting in Kakashi’s vision as a world of color blossoms before him. Kakashi bathes in Obito’s intoxicating aroma, clinging close and submitting to every sugared-coated whisper. They kiss to anchor themselves together, Obito feeling as if the world is in his hands as Kakashi sends him into a resounding rhapsody of their own making.

The last bead slips away and they fall into a timeless dream. Obito pulls away then pulls him close, wrapping his arms around Kakashi’s waist and falling asleep to his heavenly scent.

The night settles into silence as the snow freezes into ice outside.

Kakashi is the first to wake up, his mind swimming with the thoughts he thought he locked away.

His thumb rubs over his finger, but nothing is found.

When Kakashi looks at Obito, he sees a future of kaleidoscopes and symphonies, a fairytale they write together under the doting eye of the moon. Kakashi dreams of reaching stars that high, but the sky tears into pieces as he grazes it and the world falls into reverse. Kakashi remembers what it’s like to have his heart broken, and the risks he feared so deeply pile up into broken glass and dissonant notes, ink spilling over the pages of a story they never get to finish.

Obito is a prince of many promises. He reminds Kakashi of someone else, and that’s exactly why Kakashi can’t afford to let him in.

Kakashi makes his choice and cuts the ribbon that ties their stories together. He shivers as he stumbles through the city, that night becoming nothing but a bittersweet memory.

In the morning, Obito wakes up with empty arms. The space where Kakashi lied is freezing to his touch, as if he had never been there at all.

-

_Some things are hard to let go of. Some are even harder to forget._

_Kakashi wants to live without attachments. That way he never has to let go. He never has to forget._

_Memories are too burdensome. Love is even worse._

_He can’t afford to feel sentimental._

_It’s lonely being alone, but perhaps it will hurt less than being abandoned again._

-

Winter begins to melt away as small patches of grass begin to peek from within the cracks of the sidewalks. Kakashi sheds his scarf and dawns a lighter coat, a light smile on his lips as a student bows to him before waving goodbye and disappearing around the corner. He nods to his coworkers and takes his leave first, hands in his pockets and eyes to the ground. It’s been weeks, and Kakashi no longer wanders the city, too afraid of being seen, of being opened.

He thinks he can move on. He thinks he can forget.

He thinks he can end a story before it’s been written.

But Kakashi _can’t._

He still clings on.

And like a fool, his heart breaks over and over and over again.

At this point, he’s sure it can’t be fixed.

But as he’s done multiple times before, Obito comes to prove Kakashi wrong, hair frayed by the wind, panting and panting but determined all the same, eyes conveying his refusal to let Kakashi go.

Kakashi _is_ a fool, because no matter how many times he tries to slam the book shut, their stories will continue to be written as long as Obito holds a pen.

“I finally found you again,” Obito heaves, and he inhales deeply as he catches his breath from running.

Kakashi looks away, breathing a shaky sigh of his own. “Congratulations, you did it.” His tone is cold.

“Where did you go?” Obito asks him, stepping forward in an effort to close the distance between them. “Why did you leave? Why have you been ignoring me, my calls, my texts, my—”

“That’s none of your business,” Kakashi snaps, hands clenching into fists in his pockets. The phantom pain of the ring on his finger burns his flesh.

“It is my business, Kakashi. You became my business the moment we kissed—”

Kakashi gives him a disgusted look. “That night meant _nothing_ to me.” His heart breaks a little with his own words. “It shouldn’t mean anything to you, either.”

“But it _does,_ Kakashi,” Obito says, and Kakashi takes a step back. “That night means the _world_ to me, and I know it does to you, too.”

Kakashi’s teeth grit together, his heart beating with an affinity for Obito’s voice, longing to be close to him, to bury himself in his arms once more. But Kakashi can’t let that happen. He can’t hurt himself again. “You’re mistaking one night of vulnerability for love,” Kakashi gripes.

“It’s quite the opposite, actually,” Obito disputes. _“You’re_ mistaking _love_ for vulnerability.” He steps forward once more, catching Kakashi’s wrist. Obito’s grip is gentle enough for Kakashi to pull away, and he does. Obito wavers, but he says anyways, “It’s okay to fall in love again.”

Kakashi feels eyes begin to burn, but he digs his nails into his palms and swallows down his tears. “I don’t believe in love anymore. It’s nothing but a pretty word for desperation.” 

Obito’s gaze falters. “Kakashi—”

 _“I gave you what you wanted,_ didn’t I?” Kakashi snaps, unable to bear this any longer as Obito stares back at him in shock. “Just leave me alone, Obito. Please, just leave me alone.” He turns to leave, but Obito grabs his wrist again, firmer this time, just enough to force Kakashi to look back at him.

“I’m not leaving you,” Obito breathes out. “Not until you tell me the _truth.”_

Kakashi feels his skin tremble in fear with the mere mention of the word, and he quickly shakes his head, tugging his hand free from Obito’s grasp. “I already gave you the truth. I gave you everything, didn’t I? Just take it all and leave already, take it all and leave so I can forget about you and him and everyone—”

 _“Him?”_ Obito repeats, and his eyes flicker towards Kakashi’s hand, void of the silver ring. “Is that what _he_ did to you? He _used_ you?”

“No…no…he didn’t do anything—”

“Then _what,_ Kakashi? What did he do? What did he do to hurt you so deeply that you don’t even bother to believe in love anymore?”

“Nothing, he didn’t do anything—”

“Then _why_ won’t you let me in?” Obito asks him, frustration in his voice but an inconceivable amount of _pain_ in his eyes. “Why can’t you let yourself fall in love?”

“Because he _cheated on me!”_ Kakashi cries out, and every wall around him breaks at once, revealing himself to the stranger from the café. “Because he said he loved me for _six years,_ _promised_ he’d love me for _thousands more_ but cheated on me anyways! He cheated on me, cheated because he was sick and tired of the same old _me.”_ Kakashi lets out a shaky breath. “But I didn’t want him to leave me. I loved him so much I was willing to turn a blind eye, I was willing to let him cheat and stab me in the back as much as he wanted as long as he stayed with me. _But he didn’t._ He left me so he could have sex with someone else, six other people, thousands of other people, it didn’t matter. That’s all he wanted – all he ever wanted, but I guess that all anyone ever wants, right? People like him and you and everyone in this damn world. You’ll just grow sick of me like he did and fuck off to find someone else, fuck off while I cry and beg you to stay with me _anyways._ I wasn’t enough for him, and I won’t be enough for you, too.”

Obito’s own eyes fill with sympathy, but Kakashi only looks away as tears begin to slip from his lashes. “Kakashi, I promise I would _never—”_

“What good are promises when all people do is break them?” Kakashi shakes his head, wiping furiously at his eyes. “I can’t do it again, I can’t do this again. I can’t let myself fall in love because I don’t ever want to feel that type of pain again. I can’t do it, I just _can’t._ I’m not enough, I’m _just not enough.”_

Silence falls between them, Obito for once looking as if he’s at a loss for words. Kakashi’s breaths are broken by his sobs, unable to do anything but stand there and cry, cry, and _cry_ all the tears he held back since the night he left Obito. He feels pathetic, absolutely pathetic and disgusted with himself for falling apart.

“I was cheated on once, too.”

Kakashi looks up, gazing back at Obito despite the tears that stained his cheeks. “What?”

Obito gives him a sad smile, the pain so clear in his eyes it stretches Kakashi’s heart. “I was cheated on once, too,” Obito confesses again, his voice a bit shaky as he speaks, “It hurt, it hurt _so much_ that I even moved to an entirely new city just to get away from it all. I spent every day wondering what I did to deserve that type of pain. I thought about all the years that were taken from me, all the years I wasted loving someone who didn’t give a _damn_ about me. And for a little while, I almost gave up on love, too.”

Kakashi swallows, unable to look away from Obito’s broken smile. A small part of him wonders who would ever cheat on a person like Obito, on someone so _kind_ and _loving_ and…Kakashi bites his lip, willing those thoughts away.

“I _almost_ gave up,” Obito continues, and suddenly his voice melts to a soft pitch, voice so small that Kakashi almost doesn’t hear him. “But then I saw you. I saw you sitting there, outside the café, with eyes that looked exactly like mine. Like someone who got their heart ripped out and couldn’t take it back. Just looking at you made me realize I was wrong. I thought love didn’t exist and that I was a fool stuck in my daydreams, but there you were, proving me wrong.”

Kakashi shakes his head, not understanding Obito’s implications. “What are you talking about?”

“You were hurt, too,” Obito says with a bittersweet smile. “You, like me, were hurt because _you loved someone with all your heart,_ but they broke it. When I saw that there were other people like me who loved others so sincerely, I realized I was wrong. I realized that I _can_ find love, a _real_ love. And I promised myself that for every moment I wasted with the one who cheated on me, I would repay them all with another moment spent loving someone who _deserves to be loved._ To love someone who hurts like I do, who _loves_ like I do: _with all his heart.”_ Obito steps forward once more, reaching out to take Kakashi’s hand again, and when Kakashi doesn’t pull away, he whispers, “And I found that someone in _you,_ Kakashi. I _know_ you would love me with all your heart, just like I would love _you_ with all of _mine.”_ He lets out a shaky breath. “But that can only happen if you _let us_ fall in love.”

Kakashi’s gaze drops to their hands, and he closes his eyes, unable to will his tears to stop. “Why won’t you give up on me?”

Obito smiles again, that same loving smile he’s bestowed Kakashi with so many times before. “Because I’m a hopeless romantic, and I believe that people like us, people who have had their hearts broken over and over again, deserve to find their own happy endings.” Obito swallows down a lump in his throat, his grip on Kakashi’s hands tightening ever so slightly as he coaxes him to meet his eyes once more. “The world is an unfair place, I know. You can give your all to someone who doesn’t give a damn about you and they will go ahead and give their all to someone else who doesn’t give a damn about them. People see things like love as a weakness, mistaking cynicism for realism and apathy for intelligence. Too many are too quick to accept the world as it is, but I don’t want to. I know this world has more to offer than lies. I know because this world has people like _you,_ Kakashi.” Obito then reaches up, cupping Kakashi’s cheeks with his hands and gently swiping his tears away. “And that’s enough for me to keep going. _You are enough.”_

Kakashi stares back at Obito, stunned by his words, tears dispelling by his touch.

It’s almost _scary_ how easily Obito manages to take his breath away.

“You don’t even know if that’s true,” Kakashi breathes out. “You think I’m a good person, like I won’t turn around one day and cheat on you, too. Sure, we were friends, but you’re still risking your heart, you're risking your _everything_ for another person who can easily throw you away.”

Obito gives Kakashi a warm smile. “Because that person is you, I’m willing to take that chance.”

Kakashi gazes helplessly into Obito’s eyes, reveling in the depth of his irises before shakily whispering, “But I’m _scared,_ Obito. A _chance_ is just a pretty word for a _risk.”_

Obito stares back at Kakashi before moving to brush the latter’s bangs from his eyes. “It’s okay to be scared,” he says. “It’s okay to worry, it’s okay to cry, and it’s okay to run away sometimes. It’s okay to feel the way you feel, just like it’s okay to let yourself fall in love again.” Obito smiles, his eyes glimmering with that same spark of hope he had the day they first met. “A risk, a chance, that’s all I ask for. All I ask is for you to give _us_ a chance anyways.”

Kakashi feels his heart flutter in his chest. He sees that future again, that future of color and music and stories they’ll share for a lifetime. He sees it all in Obito’s eyes.

Obito’s touch is light, gentle like he always is. He looks as if he wants to kiss him.

Kakashi decides to take the chance and lets him.


End file.
